Today wasn’t so bad. I had a lot of work to do; no matter how much I finish I never seem to catch up. While that seems to be the case for many others in the work force, it tends to sow the seeds for negative thinking in my mind. I begin to question my own ability to complete the work despite its familiarity, the training I’ve received, or my love for my work. I’m always trying to beat the clock, not realizing in the moment that I’m wasting my time by looking at the clock. As time runs out, the panic sets in and mistakes are made.
Cue the anxiety.
Mistakes. I work twice as hard as anyone should to avoid them. I dread making mistakes for several reasons: 1) I’m a people pleaser. If I don’t meet one’s expectations, I initially attribute it to one of my faults until proven otherwise. 2) I know what it feels like once I make a mistake. I allow it to overwhelm me; it’s something I’m working on.
While at work I have to move fast, but I can’t afford to be sloppy and make mistakes; that could be the difference between life or death for a patient. The pressure wears on me despite how true it is.
Ok. Trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour helps in keeping my moods in check. To sleep!