Break a heart of stone

So yesterday I got sick.

I got so fucking sick of feeling full and empty at the same time. I actually managed to use the same impulse – well, somewhat the same – to get my coat on and get my ass to my first Overeaters Anonymous meeting.

I sit in the other chair, day in and day out, hearing patients talk about their experiences with A.A., N.A., M.A., (that’s alcohol, narcotics, and marijuana, respectively) etc. It was a switch to be in a static chair, talking about what led me to O.A. and the like. I felt so naked, yet so at home with the strangers in the room – they spoke about struggles I’ve experienced yet refuse to share. Their sharing about their triumphs along with their struggle gave me hope despite my initial uneasiness.

The meeting topic?
Step Seven: “Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

Shit.

It’s like G-d knew I was coming. Thanks a lot. So much for humility. Think I’d better take a look at Step One; they’re in order for a reason.

I’m Alice, and I overeat. No. That’s not right.
Hi, I’m Alice, and I’m an overeater, but that doesn’t define my character or who I am as a person.

…I should probably shorten that before the next meeting.
Humility. Hmm. As much as Step Seven mentions Step One, I don’t remember reading too much of Step Seven in Step One. I think it takes humility to admit powerlessness and that one’s life has become unmanageable.

But hey, what do I know? I’ve only been to one meeting. I’ve got a lifetime to understand and work these steps.

Advertisements

One thought on “Break a heart of stone

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s